Tonight...

...just isnt a good night. I have been keeping myself super busy so that I dont realize that Eric isnt here. It was working all good and fine until I sat down tonight and allowed myself to miss him. Now I cant stop crying. I just want him home. I know he hasnt been gone that long. But after the long in port period, you get used to them being around. You forget what it is like when they go out to sea. Now he is out to sea and all I can do is sit here and desperately want him home. I love that man more than I knew I could and to not have him in this house with me kills me inside. I stay strong for the kids, especially Alvin. There is just no way to explain to him why mommy is sad and why daddy isnt around. I know that tomorrow I will be ok. I know that I can do this. Tonight, I want him home. Tonight, I want him to be a civilian. Just for tonight.